Marco Haines

There is no way to deny it, the man knew how to party. His humor was dry, his drinks were stiff, and his mind was brilliant. After being a DJ, club promoter, car mechanic, musician, butcher, chef, farmer, and writer, he found his place behind the bar. If you spent a moment talking to him, you would inevitably think these three things:

1. This man knows more about things than I do.

2. Was that a joke? Or is he a dick? No, no, it was a joke. Ok. Ha, that was really clever. And weird, but like good weird.

3. Whoa, that sounds delicious. I probably should order that drink. And open a tab. And maybe call in sick tomorrow.

He always made time for the people he loved, was literally a certified genius and was one of the hardest working men in town. You could find him late into the night peeling key limes for a cordial, or fixing his ice cutting bandsaw, or yelling at the computer while trying to calculate tips. He had an infectious giggle and an inspiring work ethic. He would cut off a finger tip every six months, and in turn taught himself how to cauterize his own wounds.

He climbed mountains, ran hundreds of miles, and couldn’t wait to talk politics. He cried for the majority of The Beauty and the Beast starring Emma Watson, loved to travel and dreamed of someday living in London. He wore expensive Hawaiian shirts, but hated the heat. He grew out his hair and was pleased with his pony tail. He spent six years preparing to open his own bar with his wife and his friends and it was all in motion, the bar was to open in 2020. He was actually celebrating that fact the night he died. And the thing about that is we truly don’t know why he died, and probably never will. We ran all the tests, overturned all the rocks, went down rabbit hole after rabbit hole, and still, no answers for us. And still. No answers for you either, dear reader. His family presses on, hoping for some new revelation, but it may never come to light. He was a good man —— a great man —— and left behind a tremendous void not only in those who loved him, but also the bar community en masse. I wonder what innovation he would have discovered that would have challenged the status quo. What wise nugget of information would he have passed on after years of operating and owning bars? How many people would he have inspired?

Perhaps, in the end, it’s just best to look at life like he did; work hard to overcome your obstacles, don’t take shit too seriously, get the girl, spend money on those you love, dream big, turn things into inappropriate memes, apologize when you’re in the wrong, drink mojitos, do your homework, dance to dumb music at 3am, stop canceling plans with people, secretly play video games, get a cat, carry your dad’s pack so you both can get to the summit, and just ‘fucking be better’. It’s hard to sum up Marco in a few paragraphs, so maybe just find someone who knew him well and let them tell you all their crazy stories involving the enigma that was James Marco Haines. In the meantime, make one of his drinks, with good ice, and a chilled glass. Think on him often, and kiss the ones you love.