Dawn.

Part One

The heading read, "Dawn In A Perfect World". There was nothing particularly interesting about this subway advertisement. Why it caught my attention is a bit of a mystery to me. Things haven't been go too well in my life as of lately. But I suppose you could say that about anyone's, really. The thought of waking up tomorrow to find myself in an entirely different situation, one of my own creation, where my wants and fears are placated and silenced.... that's something desirable. I can see the genius in advertising. 

The photo of the ad was of a cityscape, silhouetted inside of a large, orange sun, half hidden under the horizon. Bright, glowing, and alluring, this metropolis is cradled in its celestial mother's warm embrace. In the foreground I see trees. I'm relieved to know that the perfect world will have nature. 

The car takes a bend in the tunnel. I feel the man inches behind me press into my bag as we all sway with the changing momentum of the train car. Without a conscious effort I question whether this man has robbed me. Within a split second I've taken an appraisal of my sense memory for any evidence of a theft. I doubt it. The cacophony of information pouring into my brain has me feeling over-kneaded, paranoid, and claustrophobic. My impulses get the better of me. I turn my head slightly to the right to get a better look at the man that I've spent the last five minutes making spoons with. Years of avoiding confrontation has caused me to develop my peripheral vision so that I can watch people unnoticed. He's a bit taller than I am, wearing a grey blazer and a salmon pink dress shirt. Unshaven, though perfectly unshaven, which is in stark contrast to his hairstyle. Greasy and combed to the side in a fashion that has been traditionally reserved for actors playing Nazi war criminals. This is man is a stress-case, consumed by obligation, barely able to restrain his own flamboyance. My wallet is probably safe. I realize that I've been staring into the eyes of a woman standing 10 feet into the forest of people. She looks as if she can't decide whether or not to feel violated by my leering. I wonder how long ago she started to feel as if I were looking through her. It's that strange feeling you get when you make eye contact with someone, only to that realize you're looking at an empty, lifeless vessel. 

Part Two

Dawn in a perfect world.

No screams, no cries. 

No unhappiness or pain,

Guilt or shame.

No pressure, anxiety, 

unfulfilled dreams, or living nightmares.

Free to do, free to think,

it really doesn't matter what we do.

I could stay here all day,

I could leave,

maybe I won't,

it's doesn't make any difference anymore.

Every meal is a banquet,

every bank statement confirms my fortune,

I lose my money,

yet I always feel richer.

I never make a mistake,

I understand my every movement,

repercussion doesn't exist in the dictionary,

because it has no definition.

I never sleep,

there's too much living to do,

but I always sleep in.

I never want,

I always have.

I'm never hungry,

but never gluttonous.

I look like a movie star on my bad days.

This is a perfect world but we are in it.

Nothing bad ever happens,

nobody is ever unhappy,

but that's also why no one knows what happiness is.